* * *

I notify you of myself,

that by the mercy

and the long-suffering of God

I am alive bodily, but spiritually –

God knows.

Pray that the Lord

vouchsafed

that I tie

the Christian ends.

Painful pressures are

there in the whole body,

from both the cold and involuntary

hunger.

There are many things to eat,

yet, many things cannot be eaten.

The weak stomach

and the malfunctioning intestines

would not allow it.

However, by an old

habit,

I still force myself to eat,

although after that I have to

suffer a great burden

from headaches

and from vomiting.

And besides, both visitors

and newcomers are a nuisance;

they sit for a long time in the hut,

and get bored.

That's what I am like, day after day,

and I live

and I am reputedly unjust

in the reception of newcomers

and of visitors.

And my infirmity is to blame

as well as my malfunction

before God and people.

                     Sofia

'Live [and learn] – do not yearn.'

Sayings of St. Ambrose of Optina

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